My computer access issues brought about a feeling in me that I did not expect. An increased sense of loneliness. Even though the four other people on my contract normally work in a different physical location than I do, I have always still felt part of a team. (And as I was about to write a horrible machine/assembly line metaphor, I decided against it--You're welcome) Before, when a client had a difficult question or crazy request, I could virtually come together with my colleagues to find the solution, or bitch if need be. Before, when we had conference calls, I felt like I was conversing with a group of people who shared the same inside jokes, and could laugh together, or cry, when necessary.
Then, all of the sudden, during conference calls, I was "that girl with no access". The one out of the loop and unable to offer anything beyond assistance that requires general knowledge. By the fifth work day of being completely cut off from the network, I started to finally be able to put a word to the emotion that was lingering just beyond my more easily recognizable feeling of boredom. Isolation.
Fear not, however, the point of this post is not to complain more about my access issues; even though they are plaguing me once again. Once I could identify how I was feeling, I started thinking about why exactly I felt that way. Yes, I was part of fewer phone conversations, but our contract had always kept in contact more through email, or IM. Out of all the ways people now keep in contact with each other, on the surface, emailing may seem like the least personal. (An argument could be made that texting is, but considering how frequently people in romantic relationships tend to text each other, it appears that many people have found a way to imbue the act of typing on a tiny keyboard with affection). Regardless, when I was frequently emailing back and forth with my colleagues, even without seeing their lovely mugs, it felt a lot like face to face interaction. I was connected.
~
Recently, several friends have been reposting articles on Facebook about introversion. Myths about Introverts, Situations Introverts Fear etc. I've known since Intro to Psychology that I am an introvert. In a way I have always known, but really learning the meaning of the term cemented it for me. Unlike some people mistakenly believe, Introversion does not equal shyness. An introvert gains energy by being alone, while an extrovert gains energy through being with other people. As one article described it particularly well: Think of introverts as having a cup of energy. As an introvert interacts with people, energy starts to spill out of the cup. Finally, when the cup is empty, an introvert must be alone to refill it.
I think it's safe to say-and my family makes sure to say it often-I have a great capacity to sit, happily and motionless, in front of a TV, or computer for hours on end. However, being an introvert does not mean I don't like being around my friends, or family. Without friends I would truly be lonely. Introverts actually value close friendships very highly. After all, an introvert is not going to waste the precious little social energy they have on shallow relationships with people they only half like. Being an introvert just means that after a certain amount of social activity I need to be alone to recharge.
Since learning the meaning of the term I had not thought about it for a long time. But when these articles started cropping up and I read about other people like me, it was a great feeling. Things I once thought of as a dysfunction within myself were suddenly recognizable as functional attributes of an introvert. Suddenly, a whole bunch of things about myself made sense. My detest for small talk is not only tied into my slight social anxiety (a topic that could fill up its own blog post), but into my introversion as well. Introverts hate small talk because they don't see the value in exerting energy on a conversation that will most likely not lead to any further significant social interaction. But get me started talking on a topic I really enjoy, like comic books or television, and just try to shut me up!
I could go on, but the articles making the rounds explain it much better than me. After recognizing my isolation and recognizing that it was tied to my lack of virtual interaction with my colleagues, a thought came to me.
The internet is a paradise for introverts.
For an introvert, the internet provides the perfect mix of being alone and socializing, all at the same time. Social media sites particularly have created a multitude of virtual forums where introverts can experience all the joys of social interaction without all the pesky talking and being in the same room with other people. With the internet, an introvert can precisely control the amount of energy they exert on social interaction, while still feeling emotionally fulfilled. Even lurking on Facebook-Facebook stalking, if you will-provides an introvert with some sense of connectedness to others. While Facebook can enhance relationships that you already have, Facebook, along with other online forums can also connect you to people you have not met, but who share the same interest as you. As I mentioned above, introverts have no problem exerting energy on talking about things they really enjoy.
As a (shocking) example, I will use my recent use of Facebook to follow various reptile pages and connect with other reptile owners. What the normal person does not know is that there is a actually a very large community of reptile keepers and breeders spread throughout the internet. I'll touch on this community further in another post I have planned, so I'll keep this example short. I am now part of several Facebook pages devoted to the types of snakes that I keep. On these pages I can interact with a multitude of people, many of which aren't even on the same continent, sharing pictures of my pets, ogling the beauty of other peoples' scaled friends, and asking or giving advice about reptile care. As I don't have many friends who truly understand my appreciation for snakes (two major exceptions being Katie who accompanies me to many reptile shows and Perri who has shown a real desire to understand creatures she once found frightening), it has been very nice connecting with other "freaks" like me. In some cases, to a new snake owner, I can even seem like a seasoned veteran, fueling my ever hungry ego. Long story short, I have tapped into an entirely new social network that provides me with pleasant social interaction, without all the things that wear a poor introvert out.
As I told mother this past week at lunch, I am not ready to condemn or condone the (mostly) recent shift in society, which entails access to the internet at all times through a multitude of devices, for every person. There must be a lot of dangers that come with an overreliance on a smart phone. Not listening to someone trying to talk to you because your eyes are firmly planted on a 4 inch screen is usually considered quite rude. But if the internet can help one introvert partake in a comfortable, low-energy social interaction, it can't be all bad, right?
Then, all of the sudden, during conference calls, I was "that girl with no access". The one out of the loop and unable to offer anything beyond assistance that requires general knowledge. By the fifth work day of being completely cut off from the network, I started to finally be able to put a word to the emotion that was lingering just beyond my more easily recognizable feeling of boredom. Isolation.
Fear not, however, the point of this post is not to complain more about my access issues; even though they are plaguing me once again. Once I could identify how I was feeling, I started thinking about why exactly I felt that way. Yes, I was part of fewer phone conversations, but our contract had always kept in contact more through email, or IM. Out of all the ways people now keep in contact with each other, on the surface, emailing may seem like the least personal. (An argument could be made that texting is, but considering how frequently people in romantic relationships tend to text each other, it appears that many people have found a way to imbue the act of typing on a tiny keyboard with affection). Regardless, when I was frequently emailing back and forth with my colleagues, even without seeing their lovely mugs, it felt a lot like face to face interaction. I was connected.
~
Recently, several friends have been reposting articles on Facebook about introversion. Myths about Introverts, Situations Introverts Fear etc. I've known since Intro to Psychology that I am an introvert. In a way I have always known, but really learning the meaning of the term cemented it for me. Unlike some people mistakenly believe, Introversion does not equal shyness. An introvert gains energy by being alone, while an extrovert gains energy through being with other people. As one article described it particularly well: Think of introverts as having a cup of energy. As an introvert interacts with people, energy starts to spill out of the cup. Finally, when the cup is empty, an introvert must be alone to refill it.
I think it's safe to say-and my family makes sure to say it often-I have a great capacity to sit, happily and motionless, in front of a TV, or computer for hours on end. However, being an introvert does not mean I don't like being around my friends, or family. Without friends I would truly be lonely. Introverts actually value close friendships very highly. After all, an introvert is not going to waste the precious little social energy they have on shallow relationships with people they only half like. Being an introvert just means that after a certain amount of social activity I need to be alone to recharge.
Since learning the meaning of the term I had not thought about it for a long time. But when these articles started cropping up and I read about other people like me, it was a great feeling. Things I once thought of as a dysfunction within myself were suddenly recognizable as functional attributes of an introvert. Suddenly, a whole bunch of things about myself made sense. My detest for small talk is not only tied into my slight social anxiety (a topic that could fill up its own blog post), but into my introversion as well. Introverts hate small talk because they don't see the value in exerting energy on a conversation that will most likely not lead to any further significant social interaction. But get me started talking on a topic I really enjoy, like comic books or television, and just try to shut me up!
I could go on, but the articles making the rounds explain it much better than me. After recognizing my isolation and recognizing that it was tied to my lack of virtual interaction with my colleagues, a thought came to me.
The internet is a paradise for introverts.
For an introvert, the internet provides the perfect mix of being alone and socializing, all at the same time. Social media sites particularly have created a multitude of virtual forums where introverts can experience all the joys of social interaction without all the pesky talking and being in the same room with other people. With the internet, an introvert can precisely control the amount of energy they exert on social interaction, while still feeling emotionally fulfilled. Even lurking on Facebook-Facebook stalking, if you will-provides an introvert with some sense of connectedness to others. While Facebook can enhance relationships that you already have, Facebook, along with other online forums can also connect you to people you have not met, but who share the same interest as you. As I mentioned above, introverts have no problem exerting energy on talking about things they really enjoy.
As a (shocking) example, I will use my recent use of Facebook to follow various reptile pages and connect with other reptile owners. What the normal person does not know is that there is a actually a very large community of reptile keepers and breeders spread throughout the internet. I'll touch on this community further in another post I have planned, so I'll keep this example short. I am now part of several Facebook pages devoted to the types of snakes that I keep. On these pages I can interact with a multitude of people, many of which aren't even on the same continent, sharing pictures of my pets, ogling the beauty of other peoples' scaled friends, and asking or giving advice about reptile care. As I don't have many friends who truly understand my appreciation for snakes (two major exceptions being Katie who accompanies me to many reptile shows and Perri who has shown a real desire to understand creatures she once found frightening), it has been very nice connecting with other "freaks" like me. In some cases, to a new snake owner, I can even seem like a seasoned veteran, fueling my ever hungry ego. Long story short, I have tapped into an entirely new social network that provides me with pleasant social interaction, without all the things that wear a poor introvert out.
As I told mother this past week at lunch, I am not ready to condemn or condone the (mostly) recent shift in society, which entails access to the internet at all times through a multitude of devices, for every person. There must be a lot of dangers that come with an overreliance on a smart phone. Not listening to someone trying to talk to you because your eyes are firmly planted on a 4 inch screen is usually considered quite rude. But if the internet can help one introvert partake in a comfortable, low-energy social interaction, it can't be all bad, right?
