Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Spring Break Part One: The Coveted Hair Virgin


Yes, it is here everybody. The long long awaited blog post about my spring break. My last spring brEAK AHHHHHHH! Now that's out of the way. Since my break was so long ago, I'll just write about two major events I experienced, one during the first week and another during the second (and in two separate-more manageable-posts).

Alright, first! On the first Monday of my break I was given a little glimpse into the mystical world of hair stylists, and started my unforeseen hair modeling career. Half a week previously my hair stylist friend Cody had posted a message on his Facebook wall asking if anyone would be interested in free hair color, and be a volunteer in return. I timidly expressed some interest and the rest is history. Early early Monday morning Cody picked me up in an intense rain/thunder/hail storm and we drove off to a Hilton somewhere not in Arlington (so sue me I don't remember). About 45 minutes later Cody's GPS said that we had arrived. Yes we had arrived at a wonderful insurance company building. Um. GPS didn't feel the need to give us the exact location, but we found it eventually. I then proceeded to spend an hour sitting and waiting around (in the freezing Hilton conference room-this is important) while the members of the hair color company slowly arrived and set up. I guess I should explain what exactly I was there for. So Cody works part time for this hair color company Schwarzkopf which is actually over 100 years old (who knew). He and his coworkers go to various venues and do demonstrations for hair stylists, to promote their company's products. This time they were dying hair and I was one of the hair models. There was one other model that had been chosen, a black girl with a lot of curly hair (not really ideal for a quick demonstration, but it worked somehow). Then, they actually got a third model by picking out one of the hotel workers who obviously had previously dyed hair with roots and all. About 10 minutes before hair stylists started arriving Cody started his attack on my hair-preparing me for my beautiful color, and discovered the ever so annoying nature of my semi-clean hair which resists being held up even under threat of submission. The result was like so:
Slowly, the potential future clients of Schwarzkopf filed in, and sat down anxiously awaiting their chance to view my hair transform. Eventually, I was shuffled to one side of the room to sit with the two other models and await our time. Cody and the other three girl demonstrators started their spiel about their whole hair color line. And this is a great time to tell you my new found massive respect for anyone who professionally colors other people's hair. I always joke that at my mom's work everyone speaks in letters-basically, acronyms galore. Well everyone at Schwarzkopf speaks only in numbers. Each hair color is represented by a set of numbers. Each number represents a color, but depending on the order of the numbers, dyes can be very different. Not only do they have to remember about 1,000 combinations of numbers, they have to decide on the intensity of each color, and which colors to mix and match and just so many things it makes my head want to explode. I always knew hair work involved loads of creativity, but I had no idea how much technical expertise and judgement is involved-and that's after you've chosen which color you think will work best. Ok that was more detailed than I probably needed to go into, but damn. Massive respect from me to Cody and all the other badass hair stylists out of there.

So after going through some of their colors/numbers it was my turn to get dyed. Cody gave a little background on my hair and what he was going to do with it. It was at this point where I felt about 3o sets of eyes stare adoringly at my hair for the first time that day. Why were they adoring you ask? Because I had the highly coveted virgin hair. Yes, my hair was free of dye and a blank slate to be turned into a work of art. Little did they know my hair was not truly virgin since it had been dyed my senior year of high school, but they didn't need to know. I was a born again hair virgin anyway. At this time, Cody gave the stylists a chance to get up close and personal with me-meaning my hair. They came up and basically combed and picked through my hair with their fingers, and ooed and awed at it's virgin nature. I felt adored and like an animal at the same time. I was no longer human. I was hair.

While the spokespeople continued talking about numbers, Cody began coloring my hair (about four different colors as he had explained earlier). I mentioned the room was cold before because it made the hair dye feel like liquid ice being combed through my hair. I tried to suppress shivers of pure chill and or giggles of discomfort, mostly with success, as my hair started to feel heavier and heavier. After he was done I was led back to my waiting corner to let the color set for a little bit. About 2,500 numbers later it was time to wash out the dye. This might have been the funniest/least fun part of the experience. The demonstrators had rented out a room. I was led up by a very nice woman to said hotel room. I than proceeded to bend down and put my head under the water faucet in the shower. The woman applied shampoo and rinsed it out as watery hair dye ran down my face and into my eyes, which were very intelligently closed if I say so myself. I had to rinse the conditioner myself, which took some more creative maneuvering under the faucet.

At no point during this process did I get to look in a mirror. So I was oblivious to the changes. I was blow dried back down in the conference room and I was the first model to have their new hair revealed to the anticipating hair stylists. They were super happy with my hair. They rushed up to view up close the magic of my multicolored hair. So, more hands being run through my head, and the objectification of my hair. They especially liked the streak of blond in the middle of my hair. I too liked my new hair when I finally got a chance to view it. I was happy at how dramatically different it was, but it would take some getting used to it. As the weeks have gone by I've loved it more and more, which makes it very sad that my roots are coming in. This is also sad b/c my roots were also showing during my high school graduation. I didn't think that part of getting dyed through. But it was worth it anyway.

Before I end this post, there were two more fun things of note during my lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with Cody, and two of the Schwarzkopf women he works with, after the demonstrations were over and all the hair stylists had left. One, we were sitting at a table, two of us on each side. On my side there was a long horizontal mirror, I guess showing the back of my neck. Half way through the meal, Cody realized that all the hair stylists had been talking to each other by looking at themselves in the mirror--you know as you would if consulting with a hair client at a salon.

The second is a moment I will never forget. During lunch I was facing a TV screen playing various daytime TV fare, C.O.P.S I think. At one point I looked at the TV and noticed bananas. 'That's strange' I thought to myself. What could this commercial be? I then saw images of rotting bananas and horribly frustrated costumers. What to do about these rotten bananas? Of course--an indoor banana tree. Why didn't I think of it sooner!? It was legit a real commercial about an indoor banana tree, that provides bananas to household members to eat on the go, or put in their purse as the commercial suggested. They acted like this tree would endlessly supply bananas. I also found out later from my sister that banana trees only produce bananas once in their life time. Great product commercial really.

Well that's a weird way to end a post about being a hair model. So I'll end with this. A thought occurred to me soon after my hair was done. Those stylists had lovingly coveted my virgin hair. But then it was quickly taken away from me. They had stolen my (second hair) virginity! I would never be coveted in the same way every again. Oh well. Thanks anyway Cody! If I could I would fly you over to do my roots.

As a teaser for part two, and a small/ambiguous glimpse of my new hair, I give you this:






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