Introversionet

My computer access issues brought about a feeling in me that I did not expect. An increased sense of loneliness. Even though the four other people on my contract normally work in a different physical location than I do, I have always still felt part of a team. (And as I was about to write a horrible machine/assembly line metaphor, I decided against it--You're welcome) Before, when a client had a difficult question or crazy request, I could virtually come together with my colleagues to find the solution, or bitch if need be. Before, when we had conference calls, I felt like I was conversing with a group of people who shared the same inside jokes, and could laugh together, or cry, when necessary.

Then, all of the sudden, during conference calls, I was "that girl with no access". The one out of the loop and unable to offer anything beyond assistance that requires general knowledge. By the fifth work day of being completely cut off from the network, I started to finally be able to put a word to the emotion that was lingering just beyond my more easily recognizable feeling of boredom. Isolation.

Fear not, however, the point of this post is not to complain more about my access issues; even though they are plaguing me once again. Once I could identify how I was feeling, I started thinking about why exactly I felt that way. Yes, I was part of fewer phone conversations, but our contract had always kept in contact more through email, or IM. Out of all the ways people now keep in contact with each other, on the surface, emailing may seem like the least personal. (An argument could be made that texting is, but considering how frequently people in romantic relationships tend to text each other, it appears that many people have found a way to imbue the act of typing on a tiny keyboard with affection). Regardless, when I was frequently emailing back and forth with my colleagues, even without seeing their lovely mugs, it felt a lot like face to face interaction. I was connected.

~

Recently, several friends have been reposting articles on Facebook about introversion. Myths about Introverts, Situations Introverts Fear etc. I've known since Intro to Psychology that I am an introvert. In a way I have always known, but really learning the meaning of the term cemented it for me. Unlike some people mistakenly believe, Introversion does not equal shyness. An introvert gains energy by being alone, while an extrovert gains energy through being with other people. As one article described it particularly well: Think of introverts as having a cup of energy. As an introvert interacts with people, energy starts to spill out of the cup. Finally, when the cup is empty, an introvert must be alone to refill it.

I think it's safe to say-and my family makes sure to say it often-I have a great capacity to sit, happily and motionless, in front of a TV, or computer for hours on end. However, being an introvert does not mean I don't like being around my friends, or family. Without friends I would truly be lonely. Introverts actually value close friendships very highly. After all, an introvert is not going to waste the precious little social energy they have on shallow relationships with people they only half like. Being an introvert just means that after a certain amount of social activity I need to be alone to recharge.

Since learning the meaning of the term I had not thought about it for a long time. But when these articles started cropping up and I read about other people like me, it was a great feeling.  Things I once thought of as a dysfunction within myself were suddenly recognizable as functional attributes of an introvert. Suddenly, a whole bunch of things about myself made sense. My detest for small talk is not only tied into my slight social anxiety (a topic that could fill up its own blog post), but into my introversion as well. Introverts hate small talk because they don't see the value in exerting energy on a conversation that will most likely not lead to any further significant social interaction. But get me started talking on a topic I really enjoy, like comic books or television, and just try to shut me up!

I could go on, but the articles making the rounds explain it much better than me. After recognizing my isolation and recognizing that it was tied to my lack of virtual interaction with my colleagues, a thought came to me.

The internet is a paradise for introverts.

For an introvert, the internet provides the perfect mix of being alone and socializing, all at the same time. Social media sites particularly have created a multitude of virtual forums where introverts can experience all the joys of social interaction without all the pesky talking and being in the same room with other people. With the internet, an introvert can precisely control the amount of energy they exert on social interaction, while still feeling emotionally fulfilled. Even lurking on Facebook-Facebook stalking, if you will-provides an introvert with some sense of connectedness to others. While Facebook can enhance relationships that you already have, Facebook, along with other online forums can also connect you to people you have not met, but who share the same interest as you. As I mentioned above, introverts have no problem exerting energy on talking about things they really enjoy.

As a (shocking) example, I will use my recent use of Facebook to follow various reptile pages and connect with other reptile owners. What the normal person does not know is that there is a actually a very large community of reptile keepers and breeders spread throughout the internet. I'll touch on this community further in another post I have planned, so I'll keep this example short. I am now part of several Facebook pages devoted to the types of snakes that I keep. On these pages I can interact with a multitude of people, many of which aren't even on the same continent, sharing pictures of my pets, ogling the beauty of other peoples' scaled friends, and asking or giving advice about reptile care. As I don't have many friends who truly understand my appreciation for snakes (two major exceptions being Katie who accompanies me to many reptile shows and Perri who has shown a real desire to understand creatures she once found frightening), it has been very nice connecting with other "freaks" like me. In some cases, to a new snake owner, I can even seem like a seasoned veteran, fueling my ever hungry ego. Long story short, I have tapped into an entirely new social network that provides me with pleasant social interaction, without all the things that wear a poor introvert out.

As I told mother this past week at lunch, I am not ready to condemn or condone the (mostly) recent shift in society, which entails access to the internet at all times through a multitude of devices, for every person. There must be a lot of dangers that come with an overreliance on a smart phone. Not listening to someone trying to talk to you because your eyes are firmly planted on a 4 inch screen is usually considered quite rude. But if the internet can help one introvert partake in a comfortable, low-energy social interaction, it can't be all bad, right?


 

Snakes on a Blog

Mother mentioned at our most recent Sunday dinner that she has not actually met any of my current snakes. I'll get her in my apartment at some point soon so she can officially meet all three, but I thought I could also help all (two) of you virtually meet each one on this here blog. Each legless fiend will be introduced, complete with pictures and the clever commentary that you have come to expect on this blog, or you had come to expect before my ten month long blogging hiatus. And now without further ado, this is the scaly family I have decided on...

Name: Ace

Namesake(s): Batman villain. Old Bruce Wayne's dog on Batman Beyond. A playing card (red, black, white... get it? Get it?)

Type of Snake: Nelson's Milksnake

Fancy Pants Name: Lampropeltis triangulum nelsoni

Approximate Age: 17 months

Approximate length: 2ft

Fun fact(s): All milksnakes are kingsnakes, but not all kingsnakes are milksnakes. Also, Ace's gender is unknown.

 

 

Ace was purchased while I still had Vixen. I had never thought of purchasing a milksnake, but its brilliant red color and cool striped pattern attracted me. After almost making it out of the reptile show without another pet, Ace wormed his way into my life, almost quite literally as he looked a lot like a big worm when I got him.

 

 

Ace is, on the whole, the most flighty and finicky of my three snakes. He spends the most time hidden and when I pick him up I have to deal with a lot of wiggling and attempts at flinging himself out from my clutches. In the next few months I'm going to work much harder taming him. Fortunately, he never tries to bite, so taming will only involve trying to get him more used to human contact. However, Ace's biggest quirk, which I have only recently accepted as unavoidable, is his feeding preference. Ace refuses to accept one appropriately sized food item, instead preferring to eat food way too small for him in larger quantities. Recently, I have joined quite a few reptile themed pages and groups on Facebook. I asked if anyone else had milksnakes with the same habit and I got a few bites, pardon the pun, so it seems to be a trait of milksnakes. My current theory is that Ace is either too lazy to stretch his jaws too wide, or afraid of anything he perceives to be bigger than him.

 

Though Ace frustrates me in many ways, I probably relate to him the most. Or as much as a human can relate to a reptile (though I have often joked that I too am coldblooded, as I often have to regulate my body temperature and my hands are always freezing cold). Just call us two introverted creatures with cases of social anxiety, though I would argue her anxiety is more severe.

Name: Slade
Namesake: A DC comics villain aka Deathstroke
Type of Snake: Diffused Caramel Cornsnake
Fancy Pants Name: Pantherophis guttatus
Approximate Age: 2 years
Approximate length: 3.5 ft
Fun fact: Diffused Caramel refers to the color morph of the cornsnake. The Diffused gene causes the pattern of the snake to fade each time the snake sheds. This can eventually result in an almost pattern-less snake.




Don't tell the others--or do, snakes can't really hear anyway--but Slade is my favorite. His colors become more beautiful everyday as his pattern fades more and more. He is also currently the biggest of the three, though Harvey is hot on his heals. As my friend Katie mentioned on our most recent reptile show trip (of which there have been many in the past year), she always gravitates towards the cute little babies, while I gape at the big impressive adults. I often feel the urge to feed my own snakes more often in hopes of making them get adult sized quicker. I specifically enjoy feeding Slade, because the way he consumes food is highly entertaining. At the first sight of food dangling before him, Slade will grab the mouse and wrap a third of his body around it in less than a second. Every time I see it, I'm still amazed how something with no legs can move so quickly. And unlike Ace, there is absolutely no hesitation. He knows exactly what to do with it.


Slade's favorite place to hide is a used paper towel roll. When his attempts to fit his entire body inside a thin tube started to become too comical, I had to start cutting them in half. He still doesn't tolerate being handled as well as I would like, but I find that if I support his entire body he calms down quite a bit. He's going to have to start getting used to it anyway, because I think he needs some exercise. Slade is still a sub adult, so I hope as he grows longer his body mass will even out, but at the moment he looks like he has some childbearing hips going on, and he can't lay no eggs. He better shape up, cause my last and final snake is putting herself in the running for favorite...

Name: Harvey
Namesake: Harvey Dent aka Two Face, the Batman villain
Type of Snake: Banana California Kingsnake
Fancy Pants Name: Lampropeltis getula californiae
Approximate Age: 18 months
Approximate length: 3 ft
Fun Fact: Harvey is the same species as my first pet Henrietta, but has a different pattern and color morph. Like Henry, Harvey has a name incongruent with her gender, except this time I did it on purpose.

Oftentimes you choose the name of a pet and hope the pet will eventually grow into its name. When I bought a kingsnake this time, I had the fortune of actually knowing it was a female before I bought it. Unfortunately, that put me in the difficult position of having to think of a good name for a girl snake. For some reason, I've always had an easier time thinking of boys names that I like. I probably have this problem because, I usually draw my names from comic books, which, surprise surprise, have "occasionally" been described as male centric. Sure there are girl superheroes, but often times their names are just borrowed from their male counterpart. Ex: She Hulk, Batgirl, Spiderwoman etc. And if they do have the fortune of having their own individual name, it is usually pretty lame. Um, Star Saphire, Starfire, Dazzler... What's with all the star inspired names? Anyway, this is not the place for a blistering, intelligent and complex critique of the comic book industry that I'm sure I could deliver effortlessly... 

After making some lists I finally settled on Jezebel, but with the knowledge that I could be swayed to change her name if a better one came along. Well, sometimes a pet chooses its own name. A few weeks after purchasing my new girl I discovered an interesting and disconcerting habit of hers. Occasionally, she will go from being completely still to racing around her cage, flailing her body and contorting it in weird angels and directions. To this day, I don't know for sure why she does this, but it has gotten less frequent. She also eats and grows normally, so it does not seem to affect her quality of life. Maybe she's just going through growing pains? Maybe she has a slight neurological defect? Whatever it is, it inspired me. She seemed to demonstrate a split personality. Most the time she is sweet as can be. But every so often, her spasms seems downright demonic. So I thought to myself, who do I like from comic books who suffers from a split personality? One of my favorite villains, of course, Two Face, who was once a crusader for justice, Harvey Dent. I had a brief internal debate about whether it was fair to name another female snake a man's name, and starting with an H no less. Then I quickly got over it, because snakes display gender just about as much as a chair does (Take that French people!). So she's Harvey. Or, as Perri calls her, JezeHarvey.

But really, most of the time she is an absolute sweet heart. Once I get her out of her cage she is very tolerant of handling. She does seem to be quite cage shy. If I don't pick her up quickly she will try to run away, but once she gets a quick sniff of me she immediately relaxes in my hands. This is not to say she stays still. Once handling has begun she will usually choose one direction or location she wants to go. No matter where I move her, she will go back to that spot. I'll choose to attribute this habit to an inquisitive spirit on her part, and not an intense desire to get away from me.

Final note:

 

I understand why many people don't see the benefits in having a pet snake. They don't show emotions like a dog or cat will. They are much happier when they are left alone. And when mine are being stubborn, I confess I temporarily lose sight of why I love these creatures so much. I don't think I could effectively put it into words, but I think I came close when aunt Alice visited recently...

A snake won't purr in your lap, or wag its tail when you come home. But when the snake that previously fled at the sight of you relaxes calmly in your hands for the first time, tolerance can feel a lot like love.

 

Blargh-aucracy

I was informed on a recent visit by my wonderful aunt, Alice, that it is criminal that I have not posted on my blog in so long. And indeed it is. I have deprived my poor readers for such a terrible length of time! I have left you seriously deprived. Where else can people find sarcastic statements barely masking an underlining whiny tone? Oh right, the internet. Well, they can also find them on my blog. Particularly on this post because, folks, the whining is about to begin. And it's going to begin hardcore, so be ready.

You may have heard recently that there is a silly little government shut down going on. Poor workers all across America and in the District, which begat this horrible misfortune, cannot go into work and complete their assigned tasks. These furloughed workers are forced to sit in their homes, doing nothing, and in some cases, getting back-pay to do nothing. Meanwhile, the ignorant, frustrating, despicable, tantrum-having, fat-cats in Congress also sit around doing nothing; rolling in their heaps of money, which they did absolutely nothing to earn, all the while waiting for the next election when they will inevitably be re-elected by the same constituents who currently contribute to their 10% approval rating because apparently nothing in this world is fair.

The purpose of this post is to inform you that I too am currently doing nothing, but it does not have anything to do with my rant in the previous paragraph, and it has nothing to do with the shutdown. So ha ha, made you read.

No, I am doing nothing because the Gods of bureaucracy decided I deserved to have an obstacle course heaped in-between me and the ability to do my work. I repeat, bureaucracy is making me want to be able to do work. What new and unusual hell is this?

It all started when someone decided it was a good idea to put a month between when the contract I am on ends and when it is officially renewed. As renewal is almost a certainty, we on the contract obviously need to keep providing the services our contract dictates. Consequently, a short term renewal of one month was put in place to avoid any disruption in services that would surely annoy our customers who need what they want, now now now! As they say, the best laid plans...

Through some twist of anti-Abigail fate, I was the only one of my contract, out of six, whose computer access was taken away.  I discovered this last Thursday through talks with three separate help desks, two of which could not even see why I didn't have access. The third informed me that my access to the VA Network was indeed expired, and they had never received word of the extended contract. But no worries, all I needed was my Contract Representative (COR) to tell these IT people the contract was extended. My COR was informed and I awaited a speedy resolution to my problem. Thursday, Friday, and the weekend passed without that resolution. Friday I was at least allowed to do nothing in the comfort of my own apartment, as I "teleworked" that day. The quotation marks are there because I'm pretty sure playing Mass Effect 2 all day doesn't really count as working. Though, I did save the galaxy, so that's something.

Monday, yesterday, we finally heard back from the COR, telling us the person she had submitted a Help Desk ticket to said that there is nothing wrong with my access and I should be able to log in. At that moment, I discovered it is not so nice or helpful to be informed that you do not have a problem that you clearly have. I was too annoyed at the time to realize the horrible truth.

As I woke up this morning it dawned on me that I should check who my COR submitted the help desk ticket to. It was the first help desk I had called on Thursday who couldn't see the problem. I am  going to go ahead and assume that this miscommunication with my COR has nothing to do with how I described my problem on Thursday because I don't want my inside tears to become outside tears. Now that I have seen why the solution to the problem was its own problem, I hope that the not-at-all passive aggressive email I just sent helps bring about the speedy resolution to this problem that has eluded us so far.

So, my dear readers, the moral of the story is that you should never ask me to blog more because you can be sure I have something to complain about. I know in the grand scheme of all things my current problem holds no match to the true horrors and misfortunes that occur all around the world. I still have a place to live, food to eat, a family that teases me with what I will assume is love, friends, and the greatest gift of all (to an introvert), myself. I realize how good I have it, and that, as my sister pointed out, I will probably only ever have first world problems. So please don't judge me when I say...

Why me?!? Why is the world so cruel!?!?! No one has suffered as I have! No one understands my pain! Woe, woe!! This suuuuuckssssss!!!

Update: Still no access. However, we did get a very interesting update. Turns out, the Government Shutdown has greatly affected this situation. All of the Internet Security Officers (I would explain who these people are to you, but how about you just trust me when I tell you that they are very important) are furloughed. That means there are about, let's see, zero people who can help me. Sooo, we'll see how this turns out...
 

Working Girl. No, not that kind!

Sooooo, I haven't posted awhile. Yes, I realize I say that at the beginning of every post. And that is because it is almost always true. I am what most people would call a creative person. My creativity is usually expressed in visual mediums, and I like to think that most of the time it is expressed pretty well. And though my vocabulary is not what you would call expansive, or my grammar perfect, I tend to at least amuse others with my writing. An especially proud moment came this most recent Christmas time, when I learned that my sister's fiance's grandmother enjoys my Facebook statuses.

I am pretty sure my motto in life falls somewhere around "If all else fails, try to make people laugh". Well, that, or "Never ride an airplane if I can help it". I always enjoy a good stroke to my ego, whether it be admiration of a picture I created, or a chuckle inspired by my wicked-wit/base-sarcasm.

So...

Creativity - Check

Self esteem heavily dependent on the compliments of others - Check

Plenty of Reasons to write more blog posts - Check

So why? WHY, can I not produce blog posts on a regular basis? The answer lies somewhere between motivation and inspiration.

I'm going to be pretty honest. I am lazy. Shocking I know! Usually when given the choice between flopping on the couch and watching hours of television, and actually doing something worthwhile with  my talents, the more sinful option wins out. I have to be very invested in an activity to have it win against television. For example, it is usually only when I am struck by a strong image or idea in my head, that I actually pick up a pencil and pen and produce a final, completed product. Or something hilarious happens in my life that I simply must blog about. But, there's the real answer. The reason blog posts don't flow as well as they used to. The reason my art often falls by the way side. What have I been doing with most of my time lately?

Working.

Yes, I'm going to blame the man! The man is keeping my creativity down! The man is making me sit at a desk and do boring paperwork (cough-and watch YouTube-cough). No, it is not my fault at all. How am I supposed to have interesting things to blog about if I'm stuck in a cubicle for most of the day? Do stuff on the weekends to blog about, you say? Impossible! Weekends are used to avoid doing anything that even remotely resembles work. And though I like to draw, and write to some extent, both of those things require work and effort. And weekdays? Forget it! I'm not going to come home from a long day of sitting and staring at a computer screen, to then go home and stare at my personal computer screen to write a blog post! Staring at a TV screen after work is completely different! My entry into the real world is to blame! The dark damp recesses of a government office has stifled my creativity!! My well has run dry! It is no fault of my own! I have perfectly GOOD REASONS NOT TO WRITE MORE BLOG POSTS!

*Disclaimer* The previous paragraph  was supposed to be ironic *Disclaimer*

Okay. I'm done. I'll be honest now. I have become too lazy. Too ready to let my creative outlets fall by the wayside, all the while blaming "a hard days work" for why I don't take action. So that will change. I will blog more often, maybe. And draw more, probably. And I am going to follow someone else's suggestion.

Yesterday, Emily the Great, sent me a link for a Groupon deal. A huge discount for an online course that teaches you how to create and maintain a web page. And though I was initially hesitant about the 80$ price tag (down from 400 bucks), I finally decided a year long membership to this course would be worth it--lead to good things. And! I can take it during the quiet times at work, when actual work to do is scarce. It looks great on a resume and will provide another creative outlet for me, the visual person that I am. So thanks Emily, The Pun Master of Africa. Great idea.

No more excuses. Less laziness. No more telev.... HA! hahaha, let's not be ridiculous.