Highway to Hell

DAY ONE

After finishing my breakfast tacos, I hit the highway unaware of what would happen, but hoping for the best. I "decided" to get my first mistake out of the way early. One of my first directions was to get from I-410S to I-10E. So I take the exit to I-10E. A couple minutes later I look at the road signs and I am driving on...I-410S. Huh? Apparently I didn't know how to properly exit. No matter, I thought to myself and I got turned back around and found my way to 1-10E. I'd say I handled it with grace-grace is my middle name don'tchya know?

In Austin I hit my first bit of highway traffic, but I wasn't too bothered. Why? Because I got to watch an awesome lighting storm while listening to Mexican Mariachi music on the radio, naturally. During this very slow moving time I also saw something quite amusing. One car was stopped dead in the middle of the highway because the hapless driver had fallen asleep in traffic. I must admit I thought it was funny and I may have even snickered. Meanwhile, the karmic gods plotted their revenge (sorry if I'm mixing spiritual metaphors).

A little while later I read a sign saying "Welcome to Louisiana"-in hindsight a more appropriate sign would have been "Beware of Louisiana". It all started out so much fun; belting out Jesus Christ Superstar while driving through the pouring rain.

Then came the time of night where I was ready to sleep...really really ready to sleep. So, I walk up to the front desk of a Super 8 motel and say "I'd like a room for the night". The woman who works there says "Are you 21?". Whoops. Of course, I was perfectly calm about the whole thing and didn't panic. Heh. I called my own version of OnStar-a.k.a. my mother-and she called around nearby hotels. As I waited for her to call back I thought of different safe ways I could sleep in my car without seeming like a total creeper and avoiding those unpleasant things like getting murdered. It all would've been quite literary-me snickering at the girl sleeping in her car on the highway would have been great foreshadowing. My mom called back and told me that the whole not being able to rent a room under 21 thing was a Louisiana state law. So, I looked on the map for the nearest city on my route...in Mississippi, and my mother booked me a room at the sent-from-heaven Holiday Inn which does NOT ask the roomers age.

Already pushed to the point of extreme exhaustion, I drove another hour or so and fell into my beautiful, comfortable, perfect bed at the lovely Holiday Inn.

Day Two

After checking out I made a reservation at another Holiday Inn in Knoxville, Tennessee for that night. The day drive was pretty uneventful, though I got to see a lot of trees, more rain and a murder shack in the woods. Day turned into night and I arrived at Knoxville at a pretty decent hour. An hour later I actually found my hotel. I won't go into too much detail because the more detail I go into, the more it will be clear how stupid I was. Lets just say that I had to call the front desk, and once again use mOntherStar to find the hotel, even though it was FIFTY FEET AWAY. I'll take this time to thank my mother for all of her help during my road trip.

While checking in I found out that some jerk had set off the fire alarm by smoking in his room. I drove to the correct entrance which you need a room card to get into and I helped a poor woman in her nightgown get back into the hotel. My room was on the second floor, but all the elevators weren't working-because of the jerk who set off the fire alarm. I tried to find the stairs...then I continued to look for the stairs...still looking. A woman saw me walking up and down the same hallway twice and, out of the kindness of her heart, helped me find the stairs. This time karma worked in my favor! Although I was pretty tired I stayed up way too late watching the miniseries/film adaptation of East of Eden (not the James Dean version). Boy that Cathy sure is evil!

Day Three

I awoke in the second Holiday Inn of my trip, ready to take on the rest of my drive. I packed my things, went down to my car and sat in the drivers seat. Next, I turned on the car, put it into drive and-wait a minute, why is my car shaking? Why is the check engine light on? No no no no no. I am not getting stuck in Knoxville Tennessee the last day of my road trip. I turned off the car and tried not to become a blob of emotional jelly. I took a deep breath, put on my denial cap and turned the car back on and-no check engine light. Now, the smart thing would have been to check out the car at a gas station just to be safe, but I chose the road less wise and more laden with possible danger.


Despite the cloud of pending doom hanging over me, the rest of the trip was pretty event-less. I did manage to get stuck in traffic three exits away from Arlington. I also saw an awesome truck; I think it's awesomeness speaks for itself.

Well that was my long long road trip and what a trip it was. I can hardly wait to see what magical events are in store for the drive to Iowa...if my car lives that long.