Short Short Story

Yes, it's true. I have been a horrible horrible blogger. It has been months since my last post, and I'm sorry. I will do a longer post sometime during spring break (next next week!). To tide you over, here's a short story (not fictional) of two interconnected events that occurred the week following Christmas.

Life Imitates Art

After coming home from seeing True Grit we had a Churchman jam session. David played show tunes on the piano while Emily, Mom and I sang along. One of the songs was "America" from west side story. For those heathens who do not know, this is a song sung by women from Puerto Rico talking about how life in America is "better". For example, the women sing "Everything's free in America...for a small fee in America." The next day I was getting a hair cut at the ever reliable Hair Cuttery and overheard a conversation between two of the stylists who didn't have costumers to appease. Both women were not from America and were literally acting out the line: "There are many free things in America. You just have to pay for them. It only costs five dollars to get something free". I half expected them to start dancing and snapping.

The End.

It Was that Wonderful Time of the Year

These are the days of sitting... These are the days of socializing... These are some of the days of my break so far... I decided to continue my journaling style, basically so I have something to post when/if Jessica laments my lack of posting. This here's a long one. Without further ado, let's start where I left off...

December 18th.

Flying home day. The only real problem was an hour delay in Tennessee. I almost prefer for things to go terribly wrong because it makes for a good story. An hour delay is just annoying. I was driven straight from the airport to the church for a dinner honoring our British guests. A British choir (of <30>

December 19th

Bestie Liz Burman was coming to stay at our house the next day, but for a little preview Liz spent part of this afternoon helping me Xmas shop for my family. I found presents for Ma, Pa, and Sis, but David's was proving to be super elusive. Therefore, Liz "helpfully" point out every single item that he would never want or need. Thus creating a fun game to be continued later. But at the time I did think of the perfect gag gift. David is currently a teacher at a school with a focus on discipline, so I wanted to get him one of those wooden spanking paddles. Pretty sure I wasn't going to find it a store I looked online. A tip for all of you. Never look up wooden paddle on google. One brilliant site I found was literally called spanking-paddles.com. You could even get them engraved! Unfortunately, they were 40 bucks and over. Looking up spanking paddles on amazon.com also directs you to some pretty salacious items. After using my Mom's computer to search (Liz was using mine) I discovered I had not logged her out of her amazon account, leaving her with some pretty interesting recommendations. OOps. After Liz left for the night, Mom Dad and I brought the two Brits to their first ever Mexican restaurant. It was like going to dinner with walking sociological perspectives. First, they spotted football on one of the restaurant TVs and made very amusing (and true) comments on the ridiculousness of the game. 'Look at their outfits. Their so shiny and tight.' Next we had to explain all the different dishes to them, making it painfully clear that all Mexican dishes are exactly the same: 'Oh you know, it comes with a tortilla, beans, cheese, and some kind of meat. Yeah that one too.' One girl even had her first margarita. Very interesting.

December 20th

In the morning I had breakfast with the Brits-my Mom had made delicious waffles and berry sauce. Afterwards, the two girls left for the church with their suitcase (the idea being that they would jump on whatever flight became available). They did eventually get a flight, but unfortunately, it was flying out on Xmas Eve (bummer). Instead of staying separately at US home-stays, the whole group decided they would stay at a hotel for the rest of their (unintentionally prolonged) stay. A few days later, their tragic story was picked up by news stations in the US and the UK and they got an earlier flight. What really clinched it for them though was one little choir boy saying something like "I'm afraid Santa won't be able to find me." Aw.

For the evening, Liz and I went to Galaxy Hut to meet our friend Harry (you may remember him from me getting stuck in the airport before Christmas take two). Proving it certainly is a small world we also ran into three other past HB-ers: Nick, Sophia Trick, and Stacey Weinstock. But wait...there was more! Liz also ran into TWO of her brothers who apparently knew a member of the band playing in the pub that night. Yeesh.

December 21st

Liz and I went into the district to meet her friend/fellow camp counselor/guy I met once before Caleb for lunch and stuff. We ate at a lovely food court, with deliciously unhealthy give-you-an-early-death food. Our two topics of conversation, naturally, were E-readers and camp experiences. We followed it up with some more shopping and more "helpful" hints about what to buy David from Liz. I took her straight to the airport afterwards. For the second phase of my day I went to see Esyle (her name has been changed to protect her from the embarrassment to come in a moment) in her new apartment (which was lovely by the way). Had a tiny bit of trouble getting there...yeah a 15 minute drive turned into an 1.5 hour drive. Stupid S. Glebe was blocked off by the po-lice for blocks and blocks, making it impossible to reach W. Glebe. The first half of the trip was stupid Glebe's fault, but the second was my own. After coming ten feet away from W. Glebe I took a deadly wrong turn and ended up exactly where I started. GRR! Lovely Esyle, looked up an alternate route on Google that ended up taking about ten minutes. You couldn't given that as the first option Google!?! Esyle gave me food as soon as I arrived to appease the beast within me. In the perfect way to end the evening Esyle walked me to the elevator and said "I have to pee so I won't go down in the elevator with you"... and then noticed the two other people standing in the elevator. She ran away in shame while I continued to burst out laughing in front of my elevator mates saying through partial tears "I'll never let her live this down". And now she never will.

December 22nd

Today I continued my Christmas shopping quest. I thought I was so smart not leaving my shopping to the last minute and so did everyone else. I started with a little Target to finish off one present and I went to Pentagon City Mall next mainly because there was a store there I wanted to go to for myself. Finding parking was miserable as the only way to actually get a space was to stalk some poor fellow shopper who was getting in their car to leave. I eventually found my stalkee and bravely entered the fray. I went to my store first. I had the exact jeans I wanted in mind, I went up to said item, and picked it up. I then got distracted by so many other things that I simply had to try on. About 45 minutes later (only a slight exaggeration) I walked out of the store with...the jeans I had come in for. Nothing else had worked and I cursed the heavens. There was some more bad as I wandered around for the rest of the time failing to find David's present. Fun day.

This evening I went to a "wine and cheese" party held at Stephanie's house. I drove Ashleigh (taking the designated driver role upon myself) and got to see her for the first time since fall break. Apparently, she is temporarily stuck in the US, so I might be seeing more of her. Yay for me, sucks for her though. I was happy to find that most of the whole old HB gang was there. It was good times. Somehow we ended up watching a movie. Sorry, not a movie. THE BEST MOVIE EVER. "Cloudy with the Chance of Meatballs". A movie I definitely wouldn't have seen had it not been put in front of me (Steph has an amazing home theatre room), but I am so glad I got to. On a serious note the animation and concept art was amazing. The rest of the movie can literally not be taken on a serious note. It was funny, it was random, it was obviously targeted to kids with ADHD, and it just had some great lines and sight gags. Sight gag example: A 'ratbird' (one of the main character's inventions and exactly what it sounds like) flies away with a little child. But, my favorite bit were the lines. The comedy was not tired or predictable like so many animated movies these days and it was surprisingly direct. Some lines for example. Main girl says to main guy: "Can you keep a secret?", he answers: "Nah." Line 2: A bystander eats food that has just fallen from the sky and says "This tastes significantly better than sardines!". Oh and a monkey with a thought translator! voiced by Neil Patrick Harris! "And!... really you have to see the movie to understand the amazing hilarious visually stunning amazingness. And I need to see it 10 more times to remember everything. Be prepared Perri.

December 23rd

Despite my best efforts, I had to finish my Christmas shopping on this day before Christmas Eve. I expected terror and bloodshed, but it was actually pretty mild compared to the other day: and I found David's present (thus ending the saga)! At 3:30pm I was to meet with the choir director at St. George's to practice my duet with my moms. At 2:40pm Ashleigh invited me over to her house because I might have told her the previous day that I would be available around that time. I thought the church thing was later, honest! Leading me to say to her "I didn't lie, I just didn't know the extent of the truth at the time." Then, Megan brought up a good point, Ashleigh has never ever at any time lied to me about when she would be available (she remarks sarcastically). Oh yeah, Megan from HB times was at Ashleigh's house too and so was Frenchman Gabriel (Ten billion points if you noticed that this was the same cast from this summer's adventure to the Arlington County fair where a ride tried to amputate my thigh). We had some egg nog and listened to some mellow tunes. Luckily I got to leave before Ashleigh played my newly burned mix (I fear it was not one of my bests). After the church thing Mom waited awhile so she could bring EMILY home! Later that night DAVID came home. And with that, all the Churchmans were in place for CHRISTMAS TIME!

December 24th & December 25th

Of course many things happened these two days, but I've always thought of these days as personal family time...and I'm tired of typing...so I'll only give you a description of my favorite Xmas tradition, which I'll call "The Saga of the Golden Monkey". There is an ornament. It is painted gold. And it is a monkey. My Mom hates it with all her heart and thinks it's gaudy. I love it with all my heart. I'm truly not trying to be difficult, I really like it and frankly I think we have uglier ornaments. Regardless, every Christmas brings another silent battle between me and my Mom (with my sister on my side). Em and I make sure the monkey stays on the tree at all costs, while my Mom quietly and sneakily tries to remove it. Of course my favorite moment is when my Mom discovers the ornament back on the tree and let's out a little groan of frustration (so sue me I'm a sadist). Well this year Emily found the ornament among the others and we put it on the tree. On Christmas Eve Em noticed the monkey was missing. We decided to put up stockings and as I retrieved them from the back room I saw in one of the Xmas boxes...the monkey. In retaliation I literally wired the monkey into the tree. I waited for the rest of the holidays for my Mom to discover my deed. Alas, today (the day of posting this post) was the day to take down the tree and the event had not yet taken place. I had to resort to more obvious tactics. I stripped the tree of all ornaments except the monkey and told my mom there was one ornament left she could remove herself. She did let out a little giggle when she found it was stuck to the tree, which appeased me, but it wasn't as satisfying as a real surprise would have been. Next year Mother...next year...

THE END

And finally because I have recently been told my Facebook statuses are amusing, here are a couple:

Semester over? No that doesn't sound right. Really? How many semesters left? One, you say? Surely not.

and...

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating Christmas today. To all the other heathens, have a nice day. I kid, I kid.

My Second to Last Finals Week

This post will be a little different from the others. I'm aiming for sort of a journal entry style, so I don't have to sit down and try to remember everything that happened to me retrospectively. At the end of each day of finals week I will write a little something about it. Hopefully, by being as honest as possible about what I actually did (procrastination and all), I'll actually guilt myself into getting something done. Now that that's out of the way.

Saturday December 11

I didn't get any work done today, but it was OK because...I say it is. I wanted to use this day to relax and not think about work-recharge myself for the week ahead. This past week had been pretty stressful thanks to an Abnormal Psychology comic book project (which can be viewed here; http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=584275&id=775895149). But it had been especially deadly for Perri who had much to do. Basically we didn't see each other outside of class for most of the week. So, on Saturday morning Perri came to make up for all the television we had missed. Next, I decided to tag along with Perri and her friend (now my friend?) Laura to go grocery shopping for cookie materials. We returned to Perri's apartment where we gained an addition in the form of Alex (for long time readers the Alex I hung out with in Montana two summers ago). I cleaned Perri's dishes (be proud of me parents!), then helped Laura with her first cookie making attempt (meaning I back-seat baked). Somehow (b/c of me) wine became part of the deal and we adulted it up. Alex and Perri eventually left to do other things and so I was left alone with Laura. Both of us are pretty shy, so we confined our talk to cookie making, but there was something comfortable about the silences that dominated our time together...I'd say we're friends now (b/c she friended me on Facebook-which I believe is significant for her). She left and I napped on Perri's bed. Perri returned to my room with me and eventually we watched anime w/ Brett. Good day-unexpected socializing!

Sunday Dec 12

At 3pm was a Sing-a-long Messiah in Herrick Chapel. On Friday there was an informal get together at Bucksbaum where anyone who wanted to could sing the Hallelujah chorus from Messiah. It was pretty cathartic, it being the last day of classes and all. Anywho, this sing a long had a few more selections from Messiah. The singers sat in pews at Herrick Chapel, while the orchestra, director and soloists were on 'stage'. The bass soloist was my choir conductor, the tenor soloist was my brother's old voice teacher, and the soprano was my old voice teacher. It actually made me kind of self conscious b/c my teacher could look straight at me, and I wanted to look like I was doing a good job. It was still fun though. At night, everything that could go wrong during our work shift did go wrong. The zamboni ran out of battery so we had to mop everything while I temporarily broke a mop. It provided enough laughs though and turned into a good time. Now before bed, an episode of Merlin w/ Perri and studying.

Monday Dec 13

Absolutely nothing happened today. That is all. Move along, nothing to see here.

Tuesday Dec 14

Last night I had a dream. I was in the bathroom on my dorm room floor (not doing that!) using the sinks. Both were very full and I had to make sure too much water didn't get into one of the sinks. I feel like this was an omen of some kind, but don't ask me what kind. We'll see. I woke up early to fit in some last minute studying and then went to take my Major Western Religions final. Done with that class! Two left. My grand plan for the day was to finish a paper that is due Thursday, so I could take my Abnormal Psych final in the morning and then be done. Yeah. That didn't work out so well. After waking up early I was knackered, so I decided to take a nap before working on said paper. So, that took longer than expected. Then at five pm I sat down ready to tackle and finish it and then...Bring! My phone rang and it was Perri. Apparently our friend Brett's car battery was dead (preventing her from leaving). Perri offered to help her only to find out her own car's battery was dead. So that left me. Long story short I ended up being no help at all because Brett was helped by security and Perri's car batter was unreachable with her short cable. I did get to dig my car out of ice and run around in the freezing cold for no reason for 30 minutes. So that was fun. Also long story short my paper didn't finish either. Oh well I tried. I really need to find a more efficient paper writing technique.

Wednesday Dec 15

Tomorrow morning is my Abnormal Psychology final. Tomorrow @ 4pm I must turn in my last final/paper for Sociology of Health and Illness. So what did I prepare for this day? Both! I started the day with a little bit of paper writing and realizing the way I write papers is horribly time consuming. Must work on that next semester, but genius takes time. For most of the day I studied for Abnormal Psychology and wow I just realized how boring this all must be for anyone reading right now and I will stop... Except also Perri studied with me so solidarity! except I also helped her procrastinate and... Ok stopping now.

Thursday Dec 16

I once again woke up two hours early to get in some last minute studying. I was actually feeling pretty confident, I just wanted it to be done with. Therefore, I was a bucket full of jitters when Perri and I arrived in class way too early (a running joke with me and Perri-because Perri likes to be early and I--often am not early). By the end my hand felt like it would fall off and I was developing a writing blister on my finger (again exciting stuff) because I wrote soooo much. I was actually the last one to finish leaving me alone to have an awkward conversation with my Professor. "So do you think you did well?" "Depends on how generous you're feeling". I finished by 11:30 and had a paper due by 4pm, so I went straight from writing to typing. I took a lunch break to stuff my face (it was the most satisfying meal for some reason: brain food?) but pretty much wrote continuously till 3:50pm. By that time I had turned 12 pages of quotes and random thoughts into exactly 6 pages of brilliantly coherent Brilliance (too redundant?) which was good because it could be no longer than 6 pages. And with that last final in I went ah. I watched all that YouTube stuff I had so responsibly left 'til after my finals and melted into my bed and then went with Perri to play with Kitties at the Shelter...and scoop litter and stuff.

Friday Dec 17

I'm sorry. What? My what is over? My second to last semester? Surely you must be mistaken I'm not graduating any tiME SOON I CAN'T BE LEAVING YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE! Actually the day was pretty stress free. I graciously agreed to work lunch with Perri only to be abandoned for the first ten minutes. Someone had lost track of time at the barn and skipped our lunch date...I'm joking Perri, don't get upset. For dinner, Perri, Laura, Alex and I went out for Mexican. We were joined later by a nice lad named Jing. It was a great end to our semester...you know...the semester that isn't over, that didn't just happen.

Update: Got a 99/100 on my Abnormal Psychology Final. Bringing my class grade up to an A-. Hells yes.