It Was that Wonderful Time of the Year

These are the days of sitting... These are the days of socializing... These are some of the days of my break so far... I decided to continue my journaling style, basically so I have something to post when/if Jessica laments my lack of posting. This here's a long one. Without further ado, let's start where I left off...

December 18th.

Flying home day. The only real problem was an hour delay in Tennessee. I almost prefer for things to go terribly wrong because it makes for a good story. An hour delay is just annoying. I was driven straight from the airport to the church for a dinner honoring our British guests. A British choir (of <30>

December 19th

Bestie Liz Burman was coming to stay at our house the next day, but for a little preview Liz spent part of this afternoon helping me Xmas shop for my family. I found presents for Ma, Pa, and Sis, but David's was proving to be super elusive. Therefore, Liz "helpfully" point out every single item that he would never want or need. Thus creating a fun game to be continued later. But at the time I did think of the perfect gag gift. David is currently a teacher at a school with a focus on discipline, so I wanted to get him one of those wooden spanking paddles. Pretty sure I wasn't going to find it a store I looked online. A tip for all of you. Never look up wooden paddle on google. One brilliant site I found was literally called spanking-paddles.com. You could even get them engraved! Unfortunately, they were 40 bucks and over. Looking up spanking paddles on amazon.com also directs you to some pretty salacious items. After using my Mom's computer to search (Liz was using mine) I discovered I had not logged her out of her amazon account, leaving her with some pretty interesting recommendations. OOps. After Liz left for the night, Mom Dad and I brought the two Brits to their first ever Mexican restaurant. It was like going to dinner with walking sociological perspectives. First, they spotted football on one of the restaurant TVs and made very amusing (and true) comments on the ridiculousness of the game. 'Look at their outfits. Their so shiny and tight.' Next we had to explain all the different dishes to them, making it painfully clear that all Mexican dishes are exactly the same: 'Oh you know, it comes with a tortilla, beans, cheese, and some kind of meat. Yeah that one too.' One girl even had her first margarita. Very interesting.

December 20th

In the morning I had breakfast with the Brits-my Mom had made delicious waffles and berry sauce. Afterwards, the two girls left for the church with their suitcase (the idea being that they would jump on whatever flight became available). They did eventually get a flight, but unfortunately, it was flying out on Xmas Eve (bummer). Instead of staying separately at US home-stays, the whole group decided they would stay at a hotel for the rest of their (unintentionally prolonged) stay. A few days later, their tragic story was picked up by news stations in the US and the UK and they got an earlier flight. What really clinched it for them though was one little choir boy saying something like "I'm afraid Santa won't be able to find me." Aw.

For the evening, Liz and I went to Galaxy Hut to meet our friend Harry (you may remember him from me getting stuck in the airport before Christmas take two). Proving it certainly is a small world we also ran into three other past HB-ers: Nick, Sophia Trick, and Stacey Weinstock. But wait...there was more! Liz also ran into TWO of her brothers who apparently knew a member of the band playing in the pub that night. Yeesh.

December 21st

Liz and I went into the district to meet her friend/fellow camp counselor/guy I met once before Caleb for lunch and stuff. We ate at a lovely food court, with deliciously unhealthy give-you-an-early-death food. Our two topics of conversation, naturally, were E-readers and camp experiences. We followed it up with some more shopping and more "helpful" hints about what to buy David from Liz. I took her straight to the airport afterwards. For the second phase of my day I went to see Esyle (her name has been changed to protect her from the embarrassment to come in a moment) in her new apartment (which was lovely by the way). Had a tiny bit of trouble getting there...yeah a 15 minute drive turned into an 1.5 hour drive. Stupid S. Glebe was blocked off by the po-lice for blocks and blocks, making it impossible to reach W. Glebe. The first half of the trip was stupid Glebe's fault, but the second was my own. After coming ten feet away from W. Glebe I took a deadly wrong turn and ended up exactly where I started. GRR! Lovely Esyle, looked up an alternate route on Google that ended up taking about ten minutes. You couldn't given that as the first option Google!?! Esyle gave me food as soon as I arrived to appease the beast within me. In the perfect way to end the evening Esyle walked me to the elevator and said "I have to pee so I won't go down in the elevator with you"... and then noticed the two other people standing in the elevator. She ran away in shame while I continued to burst out laughing in front of my elevator mates saying through partial tears "I'll never let her live this down". And now she never will.

December 22nd

Today I continued my Christmas shopping quest. I thought I was so smart not leaving my shopping to the last minute and so did everyone else. I started with a little Target to finish off one present and I went to Pentagon City Mall next mainly because there was a store there I wanted to go to for myself. Finding parking was miserable as the only way to actually get a space was to stalk some poor fellow shopper who was getting in their car to leave. I eventually found my stalkee and bravely entered the fray. I went to my store first. I had the exact jeans I wanted in mind, I went up to said item, and picked it up. I then got distracted by so many other things that I simply had to try on. About 45 minutes later (only a slight exaggeration) I walked out of the store with...the jeans I had come in for. Nothing else had worked and I cursed the heavens. There was some more bad as I wandered around for the rest of the time failing to find David's present. Fun day.

This evening I went to a "wine and cheese" party held at Stephanie's house. I drove Ashleigh (taking the designated driver role upon myself) and got to see her for the first time since fall break. Apparently, she is temporarily stuck in the US, so I might be seeing more of her. Yay for me, sucks for her though. I was happy to find that most of the whole old HB gang was there. It was good times. Somehow we ended up watching a movie. Sorry, not a movie. THE BEST MOVIE EVER. "Cloudy with the Chance of Meatballs". A movie I definitely wouldn't have seen had it not been put in front of me (Steph has an amazing home theatre room), but I am so glad I got to. On a serious note the animation and concept art was amazing. The rest of the movie can literally not be taken on a serious note. It was funny, it was random, it was obviously targeted to kids with ADHD, and it just had some great lines and sight gags. Sight gag example: A 'ratbird' (one of the main character's inventions and exactly what it sounds like) flies away with a little child. But, my favorite bit were the lines. The comedy was not tired or predictable like so many animated movies these days and it was surprisingly direct. Some lines for example. Main girl says to main guy: "Can you keep a secret?", he answers: "Nah." Line 2: A bystander eats food that has just fallen from the sky and says "This tastes significantly better than sardines!". Oh and a monkey with a thought translator! voiced by Neil Patrick Harris! "And!... really you have to see the movie to understand the amazing hilarious visually stunning amazingness. And I need to see it 10 more times to remember everything. Be prepared Perri.

December 23rd

Despite my best efforts, I had to finish my Christmas shopping on this day before Christmas Eve. I expected terror and bloodshed, but it was actually pretty mild compared to the other day: and I found David's present (thus ending the saga)! At 3:30pm I was to meet with the choir director at St. George's to practice my duet with my moms. At 2:40pm Ashleigh invited me over to her house because I might have told her the previous day that I would be available around that time. I thought the church thing was later, honest! Leading me to say to her "I didn't lie, I just didn't know the extent of the truth at the time." Then, Megan brought up a good point, Ashleigh has never ever at any time lied to me about when she would be available (she remarks sarcastically). Oh yeah, Megan from HB times was at Ashleigh's house too and so was Frenchman Gabriel (Ten billion points if you noticed that this was the same cast from this summer's adventure to the Arlington County fair where a ride tried to amputate my thigh). We had some egg nog and listened to some mellow tunes. Luckily I got to leave before Ashleigh played my newly burned mix (I fear it was not one of my bests). After the church thing Mom waited awhile so she could bring EMILY home! Later that night DAVID came home. And with that, all the Churchmans were in place for CHRISTMAS TIME!

December 24th & December 25th

Of course many things happened these two days, but I've always thought of these days as personal family time...and I'm tired of typing...so I'll only give you a description of my favorite Xmas tradition, which I'll call "The Saga of the Golden Monkey". There is an ornament. It is painted gold. And it is a monkey. My Mom hates it with all her heart and thinks it's gaudy. I love it with all my heart. I'm truly not trying to be difficult, I really like it and frankly I think we have uglier ornaments. Regardless, every Christmas brings another silent battle between me and my Mom (with my sister on my side). Em and I make sure the monkey stays on the tree at all costs, while my Mom quietly and sneakily tries to remove it. Of course my favorite moment is when my Mom discovers the ornament back on the tree and let's out a little groan of frustration (so sue me I'm a sadist). Well this year Emily found the ornament among the others and we put it on the tree. On Christmas Eve Em noticed the monkey was missing. We decided to put up stockings and as I retrieved them from the back room I saw in one of the Xmas boxes...the monkey. In retaliation I literally wired the monkey into the tree. I waited for the rest of the holidays for my Mom to discover my deed. Alas, today (the day of posting this post) was the day to take down the tree and the event had not yet taken place. I had to resort to more obvious tactics. I stripped the tree of all ornaments except the monkey and told my mom there was one ornament left she could remove herself. She did let out a little giggle when she found it was stuck to the tree, which appeased me, but it wasn't as satisfying as a real surprise would have been. Next year Mother...next year...

THE END

And finally because I have recently been told my Facebook statuses are amusing, here are a couple:

Semester over? No that doesn't sound right. Really? How many semesters left? One, you say? Surely not.

and...

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating Christmas today. To all the other heathens, have a nice day. I kid, I kid.